I have read a lot about the narcissists, sociopaths, sex addicts, etc. I look at it and I see a lot of power given to them. Maybe too much power. There is a lot of truth to what I read, but I just feel like too much power and authority has been given to them.
The truth is this,they are not okay, their minds are messed up, but they do NOT have power. There is no power in manipulating and lying to keep control. There is no power in feeding on the insecurities of another to keep them around. That is not power, that is a weakness. It is an illusion of power.
It is a weakness that says “I have no real control, I have no power, I have to manufacture it and I will prey on your weakness to do so.” Honestly, I don’t know that it is even a conscious choice for some, it is just “what they do”. They learned it somewhere, something happened that it was wired into their brain. There is no power in giving in to that kind of base behavior.
They may have some sort of power over their victims, but it isn’t true power. Power is in the truth, power is in making a choice to do what is right rather than live by selfish desire. The truth is, the ‘victims’ have the power, it just has to be exercised.
The one who wields the power is the one who CHOSE to love. The one who chose to hope for the best, pray for the best and see something redemptive in the unloving and unlovely. THAT is power.
Now, if the one who is choosing to lie, cheat, steal and manipulate choose to continue despite being loved they can gain a sense of power. But the one who loves can maintain their power, they can choose to say “No more”.
No more manipulation, no more accepting the blame for the behavior, no more keeping the secrets. And that is powerful, because that is love in action. That is love that says to the abuser/abandoner “You are worth more than this, and so am I. As long as you choose to live in this frame of mind you are going to have to be on your own.”
Power is in the hands of the one who chooses to forgive and move on.
Power can be given to the one who chooses to live in deception, but real power comes from being able to pick up the broken pieces, hand them and the other person to God and say “Here, you fix this” and move forward.